Due to the fact that.. I believe no one will see this post, I think I'll start to write my feelings down again.
It's been a crazy year so far for me up and downs. Although honestly I feel the downs much more then ups, anymore these days... Recently I destroyed a friendship or 2 with long time friends, whom I believe wont ever want to see me again.
I try not to dwell on it be it looms over me daily now.. I just wish I could find a way to change history and possibly blot out my existence so that I would never have harmed anyone in the first place, or have been such a high burden to my family and friends..
I do see a cheap way out but, I shall not take it.
Instead I will vent here where no one shall find it.. Alone in a dark spot where I shall leave these damn feelings behind.
I know there is at least 5 others who may care somewhere in the web I have met along my travels.
I have no way to repent other then to leave those who I have wronged alone.. For I feel.. I should cleanse my friends list on steam so I cannot hurt others.. the sting would hurt them at first but afterwards they shouldn't remember much of me. as I have been forgotten by some already...
Though I have my trust and heart saved into about three people on there so far.. only time will tell if I will just get rid of everyone and hide or have a change of heart.
Ah, seems my time is growing short.. already 4:08AM I should rest... good night, dear...blog? hahaha...
If people care about you, the absolute worst thing you can do is leave them alone - a cold shoulder is an insult to most people!
ReplyDeleteYou really should be more confident about resolving stuff like that; it's not very troublesome once you get the hang of it! There are few things an apology and an attempt to better yourself won't cement.
I think you're a pretty great friend.
I -might- be just a little biased with regard to knowing you, but I'm going to say it all the same. I don't think you're a burden, either.
Life isn't "The Butterfly Effect" though!
Really, don't be so shy to confront people!